Written by We may need to call in Braveheart to fight the SOPA/PIPA war. Don’t make us turn Mel Gibson loose on you government, you know the cat is effing crazy!!
Major Come Back
For those that don’t know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an “Australian treasure!”
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You’ll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters. Officially the guy is a tool, but that’s funny as hell.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma’am, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
Show Some Respect
Sarah needs to pay more attention in school.
We’ve Hit Rock Bottom
(Morals-Facebook)+Dumb Blonde=This Ho
Is she naked?
It’s an awkward moment when your friend’s fat arm makes you look naked.
Ron Paul Has Never Been More Proud
This drunk guy gives the cops a well needed lesson in the constitution and amendments. The cop looks genuinely confused when asked what’s the first amendment. Best line of the clip “What’s the legal limit of hurting somebody”
Messy Granola Bar
Plus you have to drink a quart of water just to get one bar down.
Facebook is Crack
This kid delivers a very important message about Facebook in hopes to get you un-hooked. My ADD didn’t allow me to watch the entire video, plus I had to go check and see if anyone had liked my status update.
Male versus Female Dictionary
THINGY (thing-ee) n.
For a female: Any part under a car’s hood.
For a male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.
BUTT (but) n.
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look bigger.”
Male: what you slap when someone’s scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one’s girlfriend.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every three minutes.